Being dedicated to something is always a good thing, but if you go into something giving 110% from the start then don’t be surprised if you go too far.
Here’s some examples, some true, some not, some known, some not.
Tried as hard as I could to please the bosses…now I’m doing two people’s work without any extra incentive. That never happens when women offer to blow their bosses.
Said I was willing to do anything to stop drinking…now I only do butt chugs.
Wanted to start talking less shit to people…didn’t talk to anyone for eight hours. Talked a lot of shit about the people I wasn’t talking to.
Decided to join my neighborhood watch program…got in trouble for “peeping” through my neighbor’s windows. They’re fuckin’ up to something, and now they’ll get away with it.
Wanted to use “offensive” words less often…used a lot of less offensive words surrounded with curse words. My friend with Turrets found it offensive.
Wanted to be less of a clean freak around the house…I think I see malaria in my toilet.
Wanted to cut expenditures to save money last month…saved a lot, but now I’m without electricity. Masturbating in a candlelit room isn’t as romantic as it sounds.
Wanted to stop masturbating for a week…watched ”The View” every morning for a week. Still can’t get it up.
Wanted to do some volunteer work…quit my job to help retarded people. Found out it’s not politically correct to call foreigners retarded. I’ve never understood politics.
Started volunteer work with mentally challenged kids…talked with some of them and realized how unfair life is. I understood them way better then I did the foreigners, yet they’re the retarded ones? I fuckin’ hate politics.
Decided I need to stop being so nice all the time…still helping mentally challenged kids, but now we play Boggle instead of Candy Land.
Wanted to donate money to a charity…wrote them a check their bank couldn’t cash.
Said I’ll never use the word nigger in reference to black people…called at least 50 white people nigger last week. I’m white, so it’s ok when I call them that.
Wanted to get in touch w/ my feminine side to understand women better… started asking pointless questions and cuddling w/ my pillow after masturbating. Now I’m even more confused, plus I think I just queefed.
Wanted to understand the gay community better…got drunk and kissed a gay guy. He then called me a faggot. It’s ok cuz I think the rules for using that word are the same as with the “N” word. But it still hurt.
Vowed to practice safer sex…somehow skipped contraceptives and have been involuntarily abstinent since.
Decided to compromise with my vow of safer sex…slept with a stranger instead of someone I already knew. I’m only 50% sure that stranger was a whore, but 100% sure women I know are. (Math doesn’t lie: Whores do)
Wanted to get better at picking up on women’s signals…an elderly woman ”dropped” her teeth on the floor, then pretended to need help picking them up. Bending over all slow and seductively. Nothing happened!
Decided to do the things I’ll eventually have to do, now, so I won’t have to later…yeah, I banged the old skank. And I learned a lot too; like racial slurs I’d never heard before (which was awesome), and how important it is to stay hydrated when you gotta constantly spit on it. Oh, and apparently you can get rid of crabs by simply letting them die from old age/natural causes.
Obviously, most of those examples happen all the time, everywhere you go. It should be clear to you now that a half-ass approach is usually less dramatic then giving it your all. Now I’m not saying you should be more lazy, but I’d recommend you try. For safety reasons though, I feel obligated to tell you that sleeping with strangers is definitely NOT safer than sleeping with people you already know…if you’re under 16 and home-schooled. Otherwise, it’s probably safer than sleeping with people you already know (mathematically speaking).